They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
