pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
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Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
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Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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