Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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