I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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