Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
