he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize