Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
