you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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