guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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