As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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