I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
