i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
