I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
