He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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