Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
