I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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