we're blogging at a bar
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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