Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
