It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
