wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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