Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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