doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
