if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's shark week go big or go home
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
