a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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