Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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