I have demons in me.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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