i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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