you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
