I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
