I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
