Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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