pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
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not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
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Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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