If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
