I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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