It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
