Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
