Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
