i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
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