I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize