If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
