Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
