I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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