Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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