Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
