Quick, to the slutcave!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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