I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
