i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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