just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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