i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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