Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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