would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
