He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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