i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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