i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
