do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
