Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
