i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
