just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
