how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
