Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I had to cum in my sink.
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